I know men and women are equal, but emotionally I enjoy to see women as superior. I like to see a woman arm wrestle a man and win or show superiority in some way, be it skill or intelligence or physical or mental strength. Even knowing that men are submissive or under the authority of a female Pastor is kind of exciting for me. I remember playing tennis with a woman I was confident I could win a game with and I first I was. As it progressed she started to win, so I got serious and when I was unable to catch up to win, there was a sub conscience excitement to it (even sexually) that she was able to beat me and I knew it wasn’t because I let her either. I was a little embarrassed and perplexed by my reaction. It’s also like I want a woman to feel superior to me because I am male. I had an older sister by six years telling me when I was in elementary school that girls were better than boys because they matures earlier and were smarter because they got better grades than boys and when I report cards came out, sure enough, they were mostly all A’s for the girls that I had looked at. I feel our society in sitcom’s and commercial’s etc. show women as having the power now in relationships. More women are going to college than men now. My mother was somewhat passive and did not discipline her boys, just our Dad when he was around, but was absent a lot due to work. I find a woman who is authoritative I am drawn to and maybe even controlling but in a loving way.  How can I get over this or will it always be a part of me that I just have to accept?